so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
