Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize