when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
