It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
