My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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