He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
