is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
