Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
