So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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