Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
