Is it normal to miss your booty call?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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