I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
do nipples grow back?
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