So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
