last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
