So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
