After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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