So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize