NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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