if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
The air taste purple.
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