Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
