You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
