I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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