in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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