OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Randomize
