i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
