I just saw a hot homeless man
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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