My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
