Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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