she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
