dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
