Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize