; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
