my mouth tastes like poor choices
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
