Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
