Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
