hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
