I cannot find my penis.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
