think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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