Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
