Your tits are I can't wait for
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
