Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
