Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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