If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
