Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
