I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
