Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
