my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can't put those talents on a resume
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
