oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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