Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
