this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
