Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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