we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize