Who wears a wallet chain?!
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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