At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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