But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
