lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
