I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
