Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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