I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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