why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
