I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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