Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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