no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Blood and glitter go together right?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
