I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
