He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
