No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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