Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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