hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize