u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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