so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
