I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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