My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
