i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
