Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
