im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
