I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
