So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
