I bet he comes in French.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
