All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Randomize