I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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