More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
