Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I am mentally ready for anal.
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