Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
