So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
