We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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