I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
